Reply to Brunch at friends house, do you take home what you brought?

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Reply to "Brunch at friends house, do you take home what you brought?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I ask the host what they prefer. 
What I don't understand is when other people (the guests) descend upon leftover food and take it home without invitation from the host. To me, that's super rude![/quote]

It seems super rude to me, too. The host has dibs. Then the person who brought it gets to decide to offer it to other guests or take it home.[/quote]

I don't know... if you are asking people to bring food to your party, you are hosting a potluck.  The etiquette for a potluck is that everyone takes their items home.  You can't have it both ways.[/quote]

OP did not ask them to bring food; they offered or asked what they could bring.  She had planned to provide all the food.  That is not a potluck.[/quote]

OP did not tell them no. So this is a potluck. “Just bring yourselves” is what you say if you provide all the food. [/quote]

Many people will bring something anyway since they were taught to never go to someone's house empty-handed. That doesn't make it a potluck. [/quote]

It does though. If you’re having a brunch and friends show up with a casserole, dozen bagels and cream cheese, box of bagels, and champagne you’re having a pot luck b/c all those foods will be servied. [/quote]

1) If the rules of potluck etiquette are different (I personally don't think they are but if they are...) then it does matter whether or not it was framed as a potluck

2) If a bunch of people come to something they were invited to that was not a potluck with extra food it is even more rude to then leave with the leftovers as if not framed as a potluck the add ons are just gifts for the host.[/quote]

If you’re not hosting a potluck then tell everyone to bring nothing you have everything. Otherwise, surprise, you’re hosting a potluck.[/quote]

No, guests don’t get to change the rules of engagement in a host’s house. And you don’t seem to understand that people often bring dishes against the host’s express request that they bring nothing. They’re actually trying to be polite, having been taught never to arrive at an event empty-handed, but their behavior does not change a hosted brunch into a potluck. And as the host I’d do whatever I wanted with the unasked for dishes—keep if yummy, graciously send back if not so tasty. [/quote]

So let them take back the dish you never wanted in the first place. “Please, take it with you” can be perceived as nobody really even liked it anyway. Why do you even want it?[/quote]

Why do YOU want it back? You have to have brought it assuming it might all be eaten. You should never bring more food than you can bear to part with.[/quote]

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