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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH is generally not affectionate….. but when i am upset or sad or crying, he refuses to give me a hug. My sadness seems to trigger anger in him.  As a result, over the years, I have shared leas with him…..but this morning again i was crying (happens maybe twice a year, i don’t emote much anymore around him), where i just wanted a hug because i felt overwhelmed with childcare issue/ mundane back to school stress, he withdrew and refused a hug, and got angry at me for loading our dishwasher the wrong way….

I guess my question is, has anyone else found themself in this situation? I know he has empathy for other people, just not for me……isnt a husnand supposed to be a source of emtoonal support?  I am pretty social and have lots of friends for support, but sometimes I want to feel like my DH wlso has my back….. but if i show any signs of being needy, he gets angry…..[/quote]

This is a bad pattern in your marriage.  He is not a person who is capable of being an affectionate partner.  The best thing is for him to go to therapy to unpack what childhood trauma has wired his brain like this.  'If he does not do this, the next best thing is for you to be indifferent to him and be aggressive and dismissive to him.  In such a situation he will become someone who wants to please you and he will become meek and subservient. The less you need him, the more he will try to win you over. Of course, you will have zero respect for a person like this.

Only a truly confident, happy, well-adusted man is capable of being a good spouse and equal, loving husband. [/quote]

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