Reply to What happens at an initial consultation with a developmental pediatrician?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am reluctant to post information about our very wonderful developmental pediatrician because, to be honest OP, you have "mom is a nightmare" written all over you.  She or he doesn't need the grief.  And thats the other problem with your attitude.  People won't want to go the extra mile if you scream in their faces about how everyone is out to get you.[/quote]

Oh, give me a break.  You really think she is venting like this to the specialists?  She is at the beginning of a very difficult process and is using an anonymous board to vent her feelings, just like we all have.  Getting all judgy is not helpful.[/quote]

Yes, I do.  Go back and read what she has written about all the professionals she has been dealing with and her expectations for a developmental pediatrician.[/quote]

OP here.  Actually, we had a very productive discussion with the neurologist yesterday.  She was lovely and not quick to label or prescribe anything.  I am in the boat one above PP mentioned which is that I've never even heard of these specialities, don't know what they do, and I think I have every right to understand what they do, what these "diagnostics" are, and on what basis they will be evaluating my child.  That was honestly the basis of my original post, though yes, I did and have been venting.  I feel like I have been sucker punched.  I do not feel that everyone is out to get me but I do think I have the right to question the motivations of his teachers (it is a large classroom and my gut tells me the school is a poort fit and we will have to pull him) and whether they are over-reacting.  They are escalating the process to a point that I do not think is necessary at this time given the absence of any proper evaluations.  I don't know their staff, didn't go into the school expecting to need them, and I'm not just going to take their word for it without them talking to me first.  And I appreciate that everyone is telling me to calm down, and I get why, but the reality is that I love my child more than myself and I will protect him fiercely and I do not want him to suffer any ill effects from this entire process.  We are having multiple specialists thrown at us without a full explanation of how we should prioritize them and in what order.  Every specialist I've called has offered some initial reaction and various resources for reading, etc etc.  It is a LOT to take in.  And I know that some people have it much harder, I appreciate that.  And it's great that you are all working through it and doing well, but at this point I am not.  I am taking steps to deal with my own anxiety, and my anger, and my abject fear that he is going to end up irrevocably fucked up and that somehow it will be my fault.

And I don't mean to imply that anyone's child here is damaged - that is MY baggage, and I know it.  I would never label anyone else's child.  My language around that is based on my own feeling that this is somehow my fault.  I am questioning every decision we've ever made - the daycare we put him in, putting him in daycare at all, putting him in full day preschool, buying a house here instead of moving closer to family, etc etc.  I fear that I am watching all of our future plans and dreams, including those for expanding our family, go up in smoke.  It's not constructive, I know, but that's me.  I work very hard to battle this stuff but my family history works against me.

If you want to pile on, go ahead.  It can't be any worse than my own internal dialogue.[/quote]

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