Reply to I cannot help but feel frustrated with friends who act so bent out of shape when they have to help their elderly parents

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[quote=Anonymous]You don’t have to have had bad parents to make elder care a real challenge. Just like there is little societal support for raising children in our society, families are completely on their own in dealing with elder care. Even if there is plenty of money to go around (which there usually isn’t) the ability to access good, high quality (or even low quality) elder care that doesn’t involve a child living nearby and probably not having a job themselves is really hard. You’re not selfish by being frustrated and overwhelmed with the lack of options and resources. I consider myself lucky that my parents live nearby, have some money, and haven’t had cognitive decline, but even with that, as an only child in those moments when something has happened (eg mom falling and breaking a hip) there’s no safety net.

I genuinely am sorry for your loss, but maybe realize that that same grace you want from your friends who supported you when your parents died or when you went through other life challenges you should give to them in their struggles. Because it can be a real struggle and they’re not just narcissistic a-holes.[/quote]

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