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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Okay, first of all they're not your kids and they have two parents who aren't you. It isn't your job to "help them move on". It's your job to let their parents parent them. Do you perhaps actually have a boyfriend problem here, rather than blaming everything on his kids and his ex?

Second, I have no idea what you, or they, mean when they say things are unfair to their mom. Can you give an example?

Third, it's not necessarily about moving on from a divorce. One can be totally "over" a divorce (even though it makes their life more complicated for all the decades to come), and still dislike your children. It's not necessarily because they haven't moved on. Maybe they just really don't like you and your kids and would be perfectly happy to "blend" with some other kids and some other future stepmother.

And fourth, you 100000% absolutely are planning to change things for them, and you're already unhappy that they aren't enjoying the together-time you're requiring. They're not stupid. They know that you're moving in this direction. Just because you haven't forced living together in the present doesn't mean they can't feel "threatened" by it happening in the future.

Surely you can think of lots of people you don't want to spend time with and don't want to live with, right? Does that mean you haven't "moved on" from something or that you feel "threatened"? Or do you simply have people you like and people you don't like?[/quote]

OK. It's me.  This has been helpful. Thank you. Sue me for trying to figure out how to help something that only exists because an ex is bad mouthing me.  I have been in these kids life since they were in lower ES.  I am not some random newcomer. And the more I stay, the more perturbed the ex wife gets.  They don't even live with her. My bf has 100% custody and she has visitation. She's mentally unwell and has driven a terrible narrative that they believe.

[/quote]

How can he have 100% custody but his kids have not seen yours since April?

Calling TROLL.

And if you are not, you are nutty like she is. You say she is perturbed, well, pot/kettle. If your guy exists, he has a TYPE. [/quote]

His kids have seen ME  since April. They haven't seen my
Kids. I share custody with exDH.[/quote]

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