Reply to Giving more financial support to one kid and the others are angry

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]At least in my family this sort of thing runs so much deeper than giving one kid more money now. My sibling who is mooching was the favored child. They paid for multiple expensive degrees from top schools and bragged endlessly. Rather than encourage her to get professional help when her friendships, romantic relationships and job interactions were conflict ridden, they babied and coddled her and told her she was too good for that person/job. There were different RULES for the rest of us and expectations. Now they have an unemployed, mean-spirited and entitled middle-age baby who they coddle and spoil with money and become angry when we don't provide comfort to her for all the hardship she has faced. She has made incredibly poor financial choices and spends like there is no tomorrow and now she has tapped into the money tree. Even more frustrating was when I became the bad one for stepping back my free labor and telling my parents to use all that money to hire someone.

My husband and I work hard to break the dysfunction we both were raised with and we try to support our kids without enabling. Also, when one had trouble getting along well with others, we got professional help and it helped.

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Right, I think a lot of resentment stems from the fact that this is hardly ever just favoritism that begins in adulthood. There are so many excuses for it but parents are deluding themselves if they think their kids don't see it. My ILs have a constant stream of reasons: they had more money when SIL went to college/grad school so they fully paid for her education while my DH had $$$ in student loans that he continued to pay off while SIL was going to school fully paid; SIL got divorced so she needed fancy vacations to make her happier; it goes on and on.[/quote]

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