Reply to Giving more financial support to one kid and the others are angry

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[quote=Anonymous]Your successful kids have the right to be angry. Do what you want with your money, but of course they're going to be passive aggressive toward you about it. I'm surprised they're not just straight-up aggressive about it, honestly.

When I graduated college, my boyfriend (now husband) and I moved into a crappy apartment near the airport and got hourly-wage jobs and barely made ends meet. My parents gave me a car (for which I was very grateful), but otherwise we furnished our own apartment, paid our own rent and grocery bills, etc.

When my brother graduated college two years later, he also got a car, which was fair. And he moved back in with them, which I didn't mind, because I hadn't wanted to do that. And 6 months later when he found a job, they bought him furniture for his new apartment, which did annoy me, because I had done that on my own. And then I later found out that they were giving him money for his student loan payments every month, which they never even offered for me, and they told me as if it didn't even occur to them that it was unfair.

Maybe it was because he has always been the favorite. Or because he was single and I wasn't. Or because he's the youngest. But I was absolutely angry and your kids should be too. The only way to do this fairly is to say to all of them, "I'd like to support you all equally. If you want some help now, I'm happy to help and to make it fair to you all, I'll deduct it from your inheritance in my will." Basically, you're splitting it evenly, but they can choose when they receive it (obviously with caps that allow YOU enough to live comfortably).[/quote]

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