Reply to Trigger warning: Feels like sexual abuse but “a doctor told her to”. Am I wrong to feel this way?

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Reply to "Trigger warning: Feels like sexual abuse but “a doctor told her to”. Am I wrong to feel this way?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think it sounds like you're conflating things.

Your mom sounds like you don't have the best relationship and that she is unkind and did not raise you in a loving and supportive household. And you sound like you clearly have a lot of resentment towards her.

You happen to have also had this poop issue as a child. The treatment for which was very invasive and required you to be treated by someone who you didn't trust very much (your mom).

As an adult you're working through this for some reason (did you just have children of your own? I had to do a lot of therapy to unpack trauma I thought I had long dealt with after I had kids, having your own really brings all this to the surface). So you likely see a lot of vague reasons for this relationship feeling unsafe, like your lack of trust, feeling like you were neglected, feeling like you were unsupported etc. And when you wonder why you feel this way you are examining events in your childhood. One large traumatic memory is this poop issue. And it is one that seems really clear cut and puts what could potentially be a really clear cut label of 'abuse' on your mother's behavior so you're latching onto it.

Like other PPs I don't think this was abuse. This was a mother dealing with a medical issue with her kid that can be life threatening in the way the child's doctors instructed and was commonplace at the time. I believe the whole situation was traumatic for sure but I don't think this was abuse.

But just because this was not abuse does not mean that you didn't suffer emotional abuse as a child. And just because you don't have some big event that you can easily point to and feel comfortable calling abuse doesn't mean you have to excuse your mother's behavior.

Therapy really helped me sort through my childhood, which sounds in some ways not dissimilar to your relationship with your mom. [/quote]

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