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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again.  Yes, thank you for your recent posts. Historically my issue is that I have no rules, no limits.  I don't say no (especially if it sounds fun), I want to and try to help anyone who needs it, and I'm exhausted. My DH used to say "we are finite beings with finite resources," and I could not comprehend.  Granted, he does not behave as if he's finite either.  DH came up with a place to store the news papers (unused fire place log holder), which is neat, except we are at one month of unread papers.  I [b]asked[/b] if we could just get the Sunday paper, but he still wants it daily, despite no time to read the paper.  That's just one example.

I went to therapy today and said I think I'm about ready to wind it down (it's been years).  Spoke with her about my need to set up systems, but that I don't know how. She responded that I just need to carve out time to do it, that I'm smart, etc, and that cleaning up my house will be far easier than dealing with the issues I've addressed so far in therapy.  Yes, I'm bright, but I'm also driven to distraction. I can set up systems, but never address them. She asked how many hours a day I sit at my desk?  Huh?  I don't go near it, b/c it's so out of control.  I want to change!

Just took a pp's suggestion and [b]asked[/b] my DH if we could set the timer for 2 hours for the next several weekends to get the basement cleared out, so we can have play dates, and he's agreed.  However, my DC plays upstairs in her room (and that is where all toys and books are), so I wonder if play dates should take place up there, or should toys be drug to the basement.  Thoughts?  The basement (although finished) is a pass through for me.  No place I want to stay.[/quote]

OP, I think you have Executive Function problems (kind of related to ADHD) -- difficulty prioritizing, making decisions etc.

Why are you asking your husband?  IMO you should just inform him of how things are going to be!   Tell him that all the newspapers are going out the door every single week without fail.   Does your town have curbside recycling?    Also, tell him that you will cancel daily delivery for one month.  If he really wants to read the paper every day, inform him that the paper gets delivered electronically to his computer every morning!   If he still balks, arrange to have the newspaper delivered daily to his place of employment.

Seriously.  Tell him "Sweetie, we are drowning in clutter, and every single things we can remove from this house will improve my mental health, my ability to function, our family life, and [b]our sex life.[/b]"

Do not ask your husband if you can set the timer for 2 hours,  INFORM him and the whole family that this is the new plan, and that you REQUIRE family assistance with the decluttering process; but if they aren't on line with that, that unilateral decisions will be made.   Experiment with how many hours you spend together -- IMO 2 hours is a good goal for you, the adult without hoarding tendencies -- but might be more than tour husband or child(ten) can handle.  Baby steps -- start with 30 minutes as a goal at first to get more support woudl be my bet -- but who knows?  Give it a try and see.

Start in basement or in bedroom?  Your call -- you really can't go wrong with decluttering!  Any decluttering is good decluttering.  It's like asking, "which should I start first ... dieting, or exercising?"   It's all good.  Just do something![/quote]

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