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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Need advice from moms who work long hours at very demanding jobs"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What about that day you WFH? Are you in live, mandatory contact with your office for 12 hours straight? Probably not. Can you rearrange those WFH hours so that you pick up the kids from school and go to the park, then get back to work later? How much of your time is independent/movable around in your schedule? Are those 2 hours back online in the evening independent prep for the next day, overflow, overachievement, FOMO, imposter syndrome? Could you substitute 2 hours of actual, required office work for that uncompensated overtime and leave the office at 5 every day? When you work through lunch, is that because you are behind, or for some other reason? Can you take that lunch at the end of the day instead? Making dinner yourself isn't all that: eating it with your kids is more important, so have someone else meal-prep and you rewarm. Get the kids involved in activities where you all participate (think things like collaborative music for tiny kids, Cub Scouting or family soccer for older ones, volunteering for teens) so that extracurricular and learning time comes with bonus time feeling good as a family. Pick some small thing that "your" thing for each kid and stick to it: one kid has breakfast "coffee" with you, another one comes with to walk the dog, another one is your errand buddy, so that they all get alone time with you, and it doesn't have to wait until the weekends. Do not (do not, do not) guilt yourself over PTA meetings and things like that. If work is this demanding, your kids deserve you to stay the heck away from those kinds of things right now. And finally, if mornings aren't quality time for your family and no one has to get to school super early, take that family time in the evenings, keep the kids up a little later, and let them sleep in after you leave in the morning. 10pm to 8am is still 10 hours of sleep if it works in your household schedule, and you are not getting quality adult leisure time in the evenings after kid bedtime anyway. Might be better/easier to get yourself out the door in the morning while the kids are still in bed and enjoy their company for longer when you get home. Incremental family time on weekdays will let you feel more tuned in to your kids and make the weekends less of an exhausting exercise in overcompensation.[/quote] Getting the kids in activities that the whole family participates in doesn't sound realistic past early elementary school. Kids develop their own interests (as they should). If your kid shows talent and passion for a sport (or whatever else) are you really going to tell them they can't do it because it's not something the rest of the family does? [/quote]
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