Reply to Parents guilting me about time with the grandkids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, I empathize with your lack of a deeper emotional connection with your parents. It sounds like they are good people, just not as connected to their own emotions, much less yours.
They just are not as emotionally intelligent and as expressive as you wish and need them to be.
If growing a relationship with them and your kids is important to you perhaps you could think of that as a process you lead, and teach.
Not as a burden to you but as an emotional process and sort of challenge for yourself.
I had a now deceased parent who was somewhat difficult.
As an adult, I came to the point of deciding to give to them what they could not give to me.
Of course o had boundaries but it was such a relief to stop trying to make someone be something they were not.
Perhaps you could try a few things:
-Stop seeing thing as proof of how you disconnected they are , but seeing it as a chance to MODEL connection
-Try FaceTiming more-  mahe the call, and jet them just talk to the kids, walk away, let them figure out what to talk about.
-All invite them to visit, you and hubby go out for an evening or and overnite. Make some activity suggestions for them and the kiddos, let the kids tell grands what they like to do

- See if they want to meet in Atlanta to hang out for a few days. While you are together let 
them sorta take the lead with the kids. It’s ok if they stumble a little it’s ok, as long as they are not mean.

-Once you feel comfortable enough let them stay 3 or 4 days with your parents. ITS OK IF THEY GET BORED. NO KID  HAS EVER DIED OF BOREDOM!!!!!

The more you ease up a little maybe the more they will too. You will learn to “learn” each other and trust each other more .
Good Luck!

[/quote]
Thank you so much. This is very helpful perspective to hear.[/quote]

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