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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There’s a reason backlash against “second families” has emerged in recent years — the glut of now-adult children of divorce from the 80s/90s starting talking about THEIR stories from their perspective.

And guess what the majority of us think - it was not worth it and “blending” is very rarely real.

Our long-ago divorced parents are needing end-of-life health care and dying, and believe me, those topics bring up ugly conversations about who is and isn’t a family member like you would not believe.

Don’t think for a minute because there was some apparent blending two decades ago or whatever that who is and isn’t mom or dad’s real kids, and to what degree, isn’t about to rear its head.

Signed, 
40-something ACOD who *likes* her stepmom … and I’m still here typing this

[/quote]

I hear you, but why is this an argument against OP having a new baby with her husband if she can?  If anything, what you are saying is a reason for OP to give her husband a child if that is what he wants.  In my opinion, there are two issues: (1) having a baby after 40 is risky (but plenty of people do it successfully), and (2) how much will it negatively impact the older kids?  If everyone is willing to work as a team, it could work.  If OP's husband is disengaged with his stepkids, OP could be in a difficult position trying to care for a newborn and her older kids.  However, women have been caring for babies and older kids for centuries prior to birth control, so it's not that deep. [/quote]

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