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[quote=Anonymous]I know a couple who broke up when the wife cheated on her husband and moved away leaving him with their kids. Everyone around them is rightfully horrified by her behavior and none of us can figure out how a mom just abandons her family like that. A marriage breaking up and a divorce -- ok we get that. But I don't know how a mother walks away from her kids. I also have an uncle who raised his two daughters solo because his wife left them and same thing -- how do you abandon your kids like that.

But it's interesting because I know a number of men who have cheated on their wives and divorced and are now pretty minimally involved with their kids and I never hear anyone say "I just don't understand how he can abandon his family like that." Like people aren't impressed by these men but they aren't surprised by it.

I just think culturally we don't expect men to be as attached to kids or family. Obviously some men are but it's not expected in the same way it is for women. Both the women I've mentioned here who abandoned their kids ran away and started new lives elsewhere -- I don't know what even happened to them. And no one has any interest in maintaining relationships with them because of what they did. But the men I know who have done the similar are still right where they were -- same jobs and same cities. People don't approve but also aren't shunning them. Just a very different dynamic.[/quote]

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