Reply to Getting Dh home sooner- how?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old are the kids? With your scenario, at 5+ just tell them to get ready for bed and go to bed. No extras.[/quote]i

Op here- they’re 1,4 and 6. Going to bed isn’t the problem actually. It’s making dinner, getting kids to eat, getting them bathed and entertaining them until bed. I enjoy reading to kids and putting them to bed. Some nights it’s chaos

I really don’t want a spa day on the weekend or time to myself on the weekend. I need to have my nights run smoother. I can’t handle them at night. They’re great during the day but 4-8pm is hell. [/quote]

Tell him either he participates equally in afterschool pick up, bed, bath and dinner or you will hire an afterschool helper M-F from 5-8 pm.

Also, see if you can do some meal prep on the weekend together. [/quote]

this is the way. the other alternative is to switch drop off/pickup and have him do pickup so he’s forced to come home at a normal time in the PM.

also I wouldn’t hesitate to go to therapy over this. [/quote]

Op here. I actually like the idea of switching drop off and pickup. Or at least he gets 2 after care days a week. I had been worried that [b]my kids would be at aftercare until 6:30 though, which made me sad[/b]. I often pick them up at 4:30 and we do fun stuff. [/quote]
This is a you problem, OP. If you want to share responsibility for the kids, you have to allow that your DH gets to make some decisions about how he manages the time when he's responsible. It bothers me that the kids eat junkier food, watch more TV, and clean up less when DH is in charge...but overall I'm happier that I have times when I'm not responsible for everything. You simply have to let go your judgment about his parenting. When my kids were younger, I worried that discipline I was trying to instill might not stick...and I also worried about being the less fun parent and how that would impact our relationship. Now I see that neither were concerns. Kids are pretty disciplined and some of the healthiest eaters I know. They also love spending time with me, even if it's more structured etc than it is with DH.[/quote]

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