Reply to My husband has absolutely 0 ambition or discipline

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My guess is the thing that initially attracted you to him (his laid back nature, low-confrontation, easy-going, agreeable vibe) is now just landing differently from your point of view.

He probably hasn’t changed.

It’s just that you are now realizing that these boy-ish low-key traits are not very useful to building wealth or climbing the “success” ladder in the corporate world, and as a more mature adult, you now see the need for different traits in a partner in order for your family to get where you wanted to go.

You probably can’t right that ship, OP—but you’ll be happier if you take ownership of some of this. You probably just didn’t pick a mate with those essential traits. For whatever reason, that served your younger self well (maybe he was supportive of your ambitious goals, maybe he was super agreeable and let you make all the decisions?), but now you’re tired from caring all the weight. Own some of your stuff, OP.[/quote]

Guy here so take it for what it is worth.  But I agree with this.  The divorces in my friend group are not cheating but mostly women who got the guy they wanted but that was not what they wanted now.  I guess the low key, not trying to set the world on fire is good for some.  A friend loved that about her husband.  No desire to work late, weekends.  There for her.  That is great.  In her 30s and 40s what she wanted was a different guy -- Type A but maybe nicer?  That was not her husband.  It is not just the money.  It was the attitude, drive.  They divorced.

You don't have to marry the guy who will be doctor, partner at firm, senior executive but you should not think that happens by magic.  People in those roles spend decades building to that point with late nights, blown vacations and weekends, stress.  You can't miss that but magically want the next CEO of the company from a guy that paid none of the dues.[/quote]
Yes you can. The ambitious work addict men marry, have kids, ignore them, get divorced 10-15 years later, hit the Reset Button, are single, marry another woman, and enjoy an easier senior life with no kids! [/quote]

But they do not.  Divorce rate for high earners/weathly is really low.  Your doctor/partner/C suite exec is not getting divorced.  Divorce rate based on high income is somewhere around 20%.  They do not ignore the kids, don't get divorced, and largely live happily -- or not but with the wife and family.  There really are not a lot of dads that are ignoring kids in this class.[/quote]

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