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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Gentle parenting IS the problem because it’s nearly impossible to do correctly. When are we going to admit this as a society? It’s like all the communism apologists who insist that the Soviet Union and Mao’s China weren’t really communism because they were corrupt and doing it wrong and communism could still work if done perfectly. Maybe systems that are too difficult for average people to reliably execute are not good.

Gentle parenting requires perfect parental emotional regulation, patience, and time. You aren’t ever allowed to raise your voice or get mad. You have zero in the moment strategies for dealing with bad behavior (it’s all about meeting your kids emotional needs so allegedly they won’t act out). And because you can’t be harsh you have to repeat yourself and your boundaries 1000x and physically force little kids to do things when they refuse because you have no other recourse (no yelling, no time out, no punishment, no shaming). It’s EXHAUSTING. Why on earth do we think it’s realistic to expect this won’t just devolve into resentful, permissive parenting for most?[/quote]

+1 million

The toxic combination of the role of parent evolving into kid concierge and the lack of overall parenting support and community has really hurt kids. As have the screens.

I don't yell at my kids, although I do use consequences including time out, loss of screens etc. You know what? It doesn't work to change their behavior. They still behave badly because they are not afraid of me. I am not scary.

I don't want to be scary. I was raised by two scary parents who had rejected hitting for the most part. But they screamed and shamed, especially my mother. And you know what? I have very little to say to her.

None of my kids are easy. Temperamentally, they are all difficult people. I guess I am too. But my rage was compressed and directed inward for a long time. I continue to work on that. [/quote]

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