Reply to older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It would honestly never occur to me that this is a rude question.  [/quote]

I remember being that age and feeling sad that no one was interested in any other aspect of my life. None of the relatives asked about my travels, my conference paper, my dissertation, my career. Instead it felt like they thought I was a loser because I wasn’t married yet. I think it’s rude to treat women as one dimensional future baby breeders.[/quote]

They don't ask about the careers of sons too. This is a question that is being asked for all single people of a certain age.  If you cross 40, no one asks anymore.  [/quote]

This exactly. My family has always done this for generations. They ask about the dating lives of those in their 20s and early to mid 30s. Once the person is late 30s it dies down and by 40s they just ask about career and if the person has a significant other they think it's nice, but aren't as interested. They are focused on the breeding years when it's easiest and and safest to have babies (make sperm ages too). Yes, we are all more than our spouses and kids 
getting in a bad marriage just to be married is terrible, but I get the mentality. They are in a way gently applying pressure and there is a reality that it is easiest to have kids when you are most likely to be fertile. Also, I have seen the other side with relatives and friends who wanted kids, but weren't that focused on finding a significant other. [b]Adopting after 40 or sperm donors or fertility treatments are all challenging options. Yes, they can fulfilling and everyone knows that person for whom it was magical, though I don't. In fact I have a sibling who tells the world how amazing it to be a single mother starting in your mid 40s, but all I hear is the complaints and the constant fury that not enough people help her when she has gotten far more help from family and friends than I did and everyone is older now and has less energy. She also is locked in this idea that those of us with spouses owe her something and our husbands should fill in somehow as fathers. Of course none of this comes out when she sells how amazing it is to people outside the family[/b].[/quote]

Wow.  Not my experience at all.

--Single mom by choice with large network of single/ widowed/ divorced friend moms.  The only complainers really are the divorced  moms. I adopted my son when i was 41. I  rarely had to ask for help as it was freely offered (as did I, in return).[/quote]

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