Reply to Who did you name as your children’s guardian in case you die?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our nanny.  DH’s family is all overseas, and I had our kids at 39 and 41 and my only sibling is 8 years older.  If we picked my sister then our kids would be at a high risk of not only losing both parents before 18 but then also losing their replacement guardian at a youngish age. Nanny is late-20’s and single but she loves them like her own and would make sure that our family is in their lives but she would also be able to be there for them for decades to come after their extended family have died or succumbed to dementia.[/quote]

This is … weird. Your nanny is your employee, not your relative. It seems like you think your nanny will continue working for you after your (theoretical) death. And she likely didn’t feel she coule say no if you were still employing her! And yeah, [b]presumably you’re also leaving her a big chunk of money? [/b][/quote]

You leave the money to/for the kids. Have you really never met with an estate planner?!?[/quote]

So you assume the nanny is going to properly manage the money? does she get the whole estate? [/quote]

Best practice is custody to an individual (not a couple, if there’s a divorce you don’t want your children dragged through it, so you specify ONE guardian), and control of money to another person. This cuts off at the knees anyone’s argument that your named guardian is in it for the money. Obviously, it’s critical to choose people who can collaborate well and are on board with each other about what’s best for your child(ren).

FTR I’m another weird nanny person 🤷‍♀️. I’m down to one kid at home, our prior choices for guardians are dead, too old, or far away and down the Qanon hole in once case. Our nanny is very committed and loving, shares our values, and has shown overtime how trustworthy and amazing she is. My older children are simply not ready.

My former roommate would be the money man. He is extremely responsible and cares about my kid. He and nanny can work well together. Part of this choice comes down to realizing that you can’t control everything and choosing those who you believe will make the best decisions. For example, Nanny and Roommate both plan to stay in our town, but if something changes, I’m confident in their ability to make it work for my child.

I’m really surprised that people even consider naming a guardian without talking to them. I just watched a friend reject her cousin’s child who will be in foster care. Never would have thought she’d do that! Make sure your guardian agrees.

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