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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Husband and his partner"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a very pragmatic person. Most people would call me quiet or reserved. I don’t often bring issues up with my spouse unless they’re quite serious, and I come armed with a solution. I think in 12 years of marriage, I’ve had a Sit Down conversation about something concerning me 3 or 4 times. In my opinion, this is a serious issue, and I would be gearing up to discuss it. I don’t know if your husband is having an inappropriate relationship with his business partner, but I do know he’s doing a few things: 1) he is setting up a scenario where an inappropriate relationship can easily occur, 2) he is not being respectful of his marriage (I am very religious, so this is just my opinion, but I think his long, personal, all-day talks and lack of boundaries with the female colleague is extremely disrespectful to a marriage), and 3) he is pitting you, his wife, against a female colleague and creating deep, long term rifts and distrust by allowing this to continue in front of your face. Now, I think you have to decide what you want, OP. When you sit down to talk with him, what are you wanting to achieve? He still has to communicate with her. That’s non-negotiable. But don’t be gaslit or fooled into thinking that the options are either the status quo or something extreme. Men have a tendency to do this when you push them. “What do you want? I guess I’ll just never talk to her again.” I’m sure you’ve seen it. He is a grown man and is fully capable of implementing boundaries and demonstrating appropriate communication with his peers. You are not asking too much. Believe me, OP, your husband would be extremely uncomfortable if the tables were turned and you were giggling on the phone with one specific male coworker for 9 hours a day. He would have no issue telling you about how YOU need to be more respectful of the marriage. So, sit down and think about what you want from the discussion. I do not think this is normal business behavior, and I think they’re dancing on the line of inappropriateness. Everyone has different boundaries for these things. Mine probably fall somewhere closer to yours because I would feel equally disturbed. [/quote] Disagree so much with this. First, it's not disrespectful to a marriage to have a close working relationship with a colleague of the opposite sex. OP's DH and his partner are peers/equals in the business. What about their interactions is "disrespectful?" There's no indication in the OP that either of them were complaining about their spouses to the other--which I agree would be disrespectful. This kind of thinking is what continues to hold women back in the workplace. I should be afforded the same opportunities and working relationships as my male colleagues without having to pay a price because one of their religious wives at home thinks it's disrespectful to their marriage since I happen to be female. Second, it seems like OP is the one pitting herself against the partner. I'm not saying OP can't discuss it with her DH if it's causing her concern, but there's nothing to suggest that DH is pitting his wife against his business partner. And if DH works from home, he's not "allowing this to continue in front of her face" so much as he's simply working. [/quote] First of all you sound very immature. "What about their interactions is "disrespectful?" OP said they are flirting. Let's start there.[/quote] You know you've lost your argument when your response is "you're immature." Lol As someone who claims to be pragmatic, I would've expected you to understand that just because OP thinks it's flirting does not make it so. OP is viewing their interactions through her own lens, which may or may not be accurate. OP may not be able to be objective about the situation because she's having feelings about it. But that doesn't necessarily mean her DH is doing anything wrong. [/quote] Sounds exactly like what the AP would say. [/quote] NP. You continue with these weak sauce arguments. In fact these aren't even arguments, just insults. [/quote] Truth hurts, eh?[/quote] And again with the non-arguments. At this point you just seem like a bot. [/quote]
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