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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, if you enjoy any of the following, please make sure you are willing to sacrifice all of them:

— expensive cars
— $2 million plus house
— vacation house
— regular dinners with a $300+ tab
— expensive event tickets on a regular basis
— constant wardrobe updates with designer clothes
— multiple vacations per year at 5 star hotels

Plenty of people are OK without these things. But the golden handcuffs are real. Having a spouse making $750k at a law firm versus $190k per year in govt is the difference between being able to afford these things and not being able to afford them. [/quote]

Op - I don’t know why I am defending myself but we don’t do any of the things you listed above.

We bought our house for $700,000 10 years ago. We drive a mini van and a sedan. No vacation house or expensive vacations multiple times a year. I don’t even do stitch fix (mostly because I don’t care about clothes).

Our money has all gone towards paying off school loans, daycare for our kids, saving for retirement and college for our kids.

Our biggest splurges are every other year trips to somewhere nice and a fancy dinner out every other month if we can find time and a babysitter. [/quote]

One of the PP who bailed on BigLaw

I understand the frustration - as I mentioned - I saw co-workers who when into BigLaw planning on doing it for a few years, then getting sucked in.  I almost did the same.

This is a DH problem.  Nothing will change in BigLaw, or at least it won’t while your husband is still practicing.

Assuming you’ve paid off school loans, are done with daycare, and have a nice cushion for retirement and college - he can leave.

But it might be hard to find an in house position, depending on his practice area.  And a lot of senior in house positions require in house experience.

My recommendation is to aim for a large company, where he isn’t the only lawyer, preferably a public company, ideally with European headquarters.   But just getting out and starting on that track will only get harder the longer he stays.

The work is boring, and it’s hard being a cost center and a road bump, rather than the superstar, but the pay is pretty good, it’s only occasionally stressful, and the hours are great.

Unfortunately, if he doesn’t want to do it, it’s not going to happen. [/quote]

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