Reply to How to get through to DH that doing 80% doesn't count?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Try FairPlay cards.

Men need to be called out that they are acting like babies and can, just like they do at work, take on adult responsibilities.

[/quote]

NP here who tried FairPlay. DH wouldn't read the book and ignored the cards, and announced that it was a waste of his time because everything was going ok already.[/quote]

So he doesn't care if you are unhappy with how everything is going?[/quote]

He said we should only put in the effort if both of us were unhappy and that he "compromises on other stuff" so I should compromise on wanting to do FairPlay.

It's one of those things that is just as maddening when you're living it as when you're reading about it, but it's easy to say someone should leave and just get a divorce. I wouldn't want to leave my child in his care until they are old enough to easily communicate with me and take care of their own basic needs and surroundings.[/quote]

My husband is also like this.

I also think this is why my SIL divorced my brother --she unhappy with division of labor (among other things) but when she explicitly told my brother she was unhappy and it needed to be addressed he would blow it off and say he didn't think it was that bad and they certainly didn't need couples therapy or to read some books to get on the same page.

She divorced him when kids were 10 and 8. It was very hard on the kids even though they really tried to make it as easy as possible. Also my brother now has another wife who also has a kid and that is ALSO really hard on his kids from his first marriage and there's just a lot of strife generally.

So I keep working at it.

So I keep trying.[/quote]

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