Reply to Is the Principals office the standard "time out" for a Kindergartner who is not abusive or violent?

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Reply to "Is the Principals office the standard "time out" for a Kindergartner who is not abusive or violent?"

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[quote=Anonymous]That wasn't my case.  I'm 46.  I was in montessori from 3-6, which meant I never attended a regular K class.  I entered 1st grade at age 6.  I have never heard of anyone going to K at 4.  Are you a local?  If not, maybe things were run differently elsewhere.  I have no clue, as I've been a Marylander all of my life!

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Even IF she came from a montessori (or montessori-like) setting, she should know that different rules apply to different educational settings.   My daughter came from a montessori and entered a very traditional setting.  She adjusted just fine.  My son, however, will be held back a year b/c he clearly is not ready for that transition.

[b]I think your child is probably what kids were like in the 70s - ready for school but ready for a 1/2 day session where academics were not the focus. [/b] Unfortunately, they pound you with academics in K these days.  So even though your daughter may be smart, socially she may not be ready.  You can hold her back in K; I've seen parents do that. But that route can often backfire for some kids.

If most of the kids are falling into line, then your child is the problem.  I'm not saying the system is great by any means, but sadly, she's the outlier.  And the school has to follow through on its rules.

[quote=Anonymous]I hesitate to say what school I am referring to here, because this school is practically revered in MC.

My DD is almost six. She is smart, creative, with a sophisticated sense of humor. After initial excitement about school, running there the entire way on the first day, she has met great disappointment and heartache. I am trying to pull back here and take a long term view, but the signs are a bit iffy at this point

To her credit the teacher with whom I have been communicating is catching on that she is not aware that DD is being teased, and that is being in turn punished for standing up for herself as opposed to "being a tattletale". She is also thinking carefully about regrouping kids as needed to make class flow and allow everyone to have the best possible experience.

What she didnt know is that DD came from a preschool that had centers from which you could freely choose on any given day. There were three to four teachers in the class for a similar class size as hers (18). It was not entirely loose, with lots of routines, but the centers and engagement activities were free choice.

Well, not so here, and understandably DD doesnt understand. And when she didnt want to go to one center wanting instead to go to another, she felt taunted by the other kids (she is very sensitive, so no doubt the whole class didnt taunt her, but all it would really take is one). So she sat down and refused to move.

The teacher said she initially gave her a moment of time to do this, but then did the countdown and took her to the Principals office. There, according to my daughter, who is very aware of the difference between talking and yelling, said she was yelled at by the Principal. I asked DD if she was crying and she said yes. She was then made to eat lunch by herself in the hallway. All this because she sat down and refused to participate.

So I communicated with her teacher and wanted to know how I could find out more about this conversation the principal had with my daughter. I also talked on the phone with the teacher and let her know some of what she was missing. She said she was glad I told her, etc. She said that when DD sat down she was impeding the learning time of the other students, "because they are all looking at her" and had to be removed. I gotta tell ya, I dont quite see that as true at all. So it appears being sent to the Principals office is now the standard time out room. The yelling part I address today in a meeting with the principal, who called me on the way home from her cell phone while driving to address the question I had posed to the teacher. However, I told her a meeting would be a better choice. No doubt this is what she was hoping to avoid. I'll let her do all the talking and see what can be deduced from what she says.

My main thought is this: in a normal system of consequences, those consequences are understood and explained. In this case, administering this severe of a punishment comes as a surprise to ME. And to DD as well who had no idea this was going to take place. Also, while I get that the teacher cant spend a lot of time on each student, I am failing to understand the complete lack of strategy as to what to do with a kid who doesn't just do what they are told the first time. I was told she needs to be told "repeatedly" to do things like stand in line, etc, and that her refusal to participate was "ratcheting it up". But kids don't do things they are told for a whole host of reasons and treating non participation as exactly the same as disobedience misses the bigger picture needed to actually solve the problem.

This is a teacher with 15 years experience at this school, probably more elsewhere. The Principal is also experienced.

Thoughts on any of this?

I should mention that a friend of mine who is a veteran teacher of the DCPS in some of the worst schools said this sounded "a little hard", especially given the school we are talking about.

Thanks.
-T[/quote][/quote]

Remember, though, that in the 70s children started kindergarten at the age they're starting first grade now. For instance, like many of my classmates, I began kindergarten at the age of 4, and first grade at the age of 5. [/quote][/quote]

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