Reply to At what point is a teen "spoiling the nest" (before college) going too far?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are living this right now as well.
Rules we have put in place.
If she can't  pick up sibling such that I need to do it, there is no using the car that day.  
If clothes are not put away, we do not "give back" clean clothes that somehow found the way into the hall hamper.
We sat down and spoke about financial expectations - my DD decided not to work this summer - fine - we are not providing spending $ beyond the small allowance that she has always had. Not giving money for gifts for friends birthday gifts, starbucks habit etc.  
When she decided not to get a job, I wrote on a piece of paper the agreement and she signed it.  Is is taped up on the wall so we are all on the same page.[/quote]

She has a job at the country club and saves every cent. She has a lot of money for her age in the bank. And she constantly picks up shifts to make more money. It's also a convenient excuse for everything. I can't do ___, gotta work. Sorry I didn't do ___, so tired from work.

[b]If we consider punishing her, we get guilt tripped that she had good grades and has a job and we don't know how lucky we are.[/b] Other parents often tell us this. Can't win.[/quote]

She kind of has a point. Your OP painted her as a lazy kid who expects to be waited on hand and foot. But she clearly has ambition and work ethic. I would try picking my battles. Ignore the messy room and let her roommate fight that battle with her if she doesn't change her habits by the fall. Stop making her pick up her siblings, especially if she's worked a double shift that day. They're your kids, not hers. Don't take it personally when she cops an attitude. Do these things and I'd bet a large sum that she lightens up as well.

And for God's sake take Life360 off her phone before she goes to college.[/quote]

Being a country club lifeguard who sunbaths and socializes all day or cart girl driving around serving drinks to old rich guys for $20 tips demonstrates a high degree of ambition and work ethic?  :roll: [/quote]

Just wait until some old rich guy asks her to be his Sugar Baby…[/quote]

You are aware that rich guys who want sugar babies know not to prey on UMC+ girls, right?[/quote]

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