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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A 22 year old can vote, die in a war, rent a car. They are old enough to make adult decisions. To say otherwise is to infantilize them. So this relationship does not seem problematic to me.

[/quote]

Agree. Let adults do what they want. There are imbalances of power EVERYWHERE. [/quote]

I am positive that if this was a straight relationship between a white male dean twice her age and a young student, the people defending this would be calling for the head of the dean. [/quote]

I would feel the same way if it were a white male dean.  This relationship should not have started and it was the Dean's responsibility to halt that....both as the "adult with power" and for the professionalism/integrity required of a Dean. But given the relationship that ensued and the student ending it on their own with positive feelings of the relationship no complaints - I still would not agree with the parents reframing her relationship in the way that they did. They infused a lot of psychological damage and doubt. I think the Dean acted fully inappropriately but I think they both had genuine positive relationship (that's true whether the Dean was a white male or a woman of color).  [/quote]

Those of you continuing to blame the parents for "reframing the relationship" in ways that affected the student's thinking:

Are you [i]also[/i] the poster(s) who insist that the student was a full adult with agency, and therefore able to make her own choices, etc., so this relationship was fine?

Because you can't really have it both ways. "She is an adult" who knew what she was doing and chose it, does not really fit with "Her parents twisted the relationship" and she, weak-minded, caved to what mom and dad brainwashed her into believing. If you hold both those positions and don't see the hypocrisy, well, look again. [/quote]

corrections -

I am the only person mentioning the parents reframing the relationship and harming the daughter's mental health. I am not the person saying she was an adult so it's all fine and no problem. You can re-read all my posts that say the Dean was wrong in this and the relationship should not have happened and it was her responsibility to hold back. I do think their relationship was genuine and I think you're naive to believe that a young adult could have a positive relationship (not just a power imbalance like this one) who is adult enough to have a relationship would still not be affected by negative parental opinion on the former partner/relationship or that it wouldn't mess with a daughter's confidence and self worth.  I know people who are far into adulthood whose parents opinions mess with their minds.[/quote]

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