Reply to I'm Trying to Gently Show My DD That the Boy She Likes Is Not Interested in Her

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Reply to "I'm Trying to Gently Show My DD That the Boy She Likes Is Not Interested in Her"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This whole thing is really the boy’s fault.[/quote]

He’s just a kid, also trying to figure things out. My 14-year-old son recently had his first “girlfriend.” It lasted a few weeks because she (and her friends) came on really strong, and he freaked out. He clearly wasn’t ready for some intense relationship. He just had had his first requited feelings for a girl.

When he confided in me that he wanted the situation to end, I told him that the kindest thing to do was end it nicely but definitively (rather than slow burn pull away), and he did. Then all her friends started a text thread (with him on it) where they went off on him. They said he never even liked her and that he was obviously gay.

Let’s have compassion for all these clueless kids. [/quote]

Understood. But this boy could just tell OP's DD things have changed. Not doing so or providing any explanation is much more cruel than telling someone you're not interested.  He's leaving a girl, his best friend at that, without a clue of why things have changed. Not cool at all, especially given their friendship.[/quote]

Of course that’s the right thing to do. But I appreciate that OP gave him some grace and didn’t label him a bad kid for not handling it well at age 15. I wonder what my son will do next time—after “doing the right thing” backfired on him. I doubt he’ll ask for my advice. He’ll probably just block the person. [/quote]

My DD is on the receiving end of this same scenario, but she's glad she asked for a definitive position from him. She said she can stop wondering now. This stuff is hard at this age.[/quote]

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