Reply to If more women are going for sperm donor kids, will men similarly turn to surrogates?

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Reply to "If more women are going for sperm donor kids, will men similarly turn to surrogates?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve never met a hetero man who wanted a baby at all. Some wanted the IDEA of kids and a perfect wife. But it was more of a concept than the actual desire to have kids. If they didn’t have a wife pulling the overnight shift, changing diapers, and washing dishes, they’d have no interest in kids.

So no, I don’t think we’ll see a booming surrogate industry.  [/quote]

While it is more rare, it is not completely non-existent.  I am a guy and I babysat when I was a teen.  I was a popular babysitter, because I could take kids out in the yard and play with them, and wear them out and then they'd settle down easier after dinner.  We had family friends who divorced and the mother had to go back to work.  I was one of two sitters who would sit with the toddler when I got home from school.   So, I had experience with kids of all ages.  I also helped tend to my nieces when they were born.  I love kids and I was good with kids.  I wanted kids more than my wife did.  I also knew more about child care than she did.  She had never babysat and she only had one nephew who she did not see much until he was a grade schooler, so she knew very little about babies and toddlers.

We did use a surrogate for children.  My wife is a transplant patient and her immunosuppression would not allow her to carry, so we used a surrogate to have our children.  However, had I not met my wife, I knew I wanted children and would have been a single parent by choice if I had gotten to a certain age and had not had children.  Yes, it is expensive, but much like I saved for a house in my 20s, I would have spent my 30s saving to have this opportunity.  I come from a family and culture where children are prized and expected and I imagined myself a father for most of my life. I would have sacrificed a lot to have children, even if I had to do it alone.  I realize that this attitude is very rare, but I would have found a way.  I cannot imagine myself being childless.  I would have probably had to do donor egg and surrogacy because many adoption agencies will not allow single men to adopt children.

There already is a fairly extensive surrogacy industry.  There are a number of adoption agencies and adoption lawyers that provide support for surrogacy.  We used a law firm that specialists in surrogacy.  They helped us find the surrogate that we used and helped us draft our legal agreements between the parties.  We also have a relative who is another adoption lawyer in another state and she does the same type of work.  She is a member of American Academy of Assisted Reproductive Technology Attorneys (AAARTA)[url]http://m.aaarta.org/aaarta/home?mobile=1[/url] which is a network of Adoption Attorneys that provide such support.  There are such attorneys in every state who know the laws of each state and can help navigate the legal system to ensure that the best outcomes for both surrogates and families.
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