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[quote=Anonymous]When I did this for a few years my husband always pointed out that he was relying on me as much as I was relying on him -- he might have been the sole earner but he couldn't go to work unless someone was taking care of the kids. Yes we could have paid someone else to do it but we both saw the benefits in one of us doing it and I was more willing and suited to it at that time. So DH never made me feel indebted to him for "letting" me stay home -- he was always very clear that he viewed what I was doing as a sacrifice equal to the sacrifice he made in going to work and he valued it. That took the edge off the fact that I relied on him for money.

But I still struggled mentally with not making an income and by the time my youngest was 2 I was taking on some consulting work that I did while she was in PT daycare. I like making money and definitely feel more secure when I do. But not because my DH creates that dynamic -- I think I just spent a lot of years working and got used to associating my value with my earning to some degree and found losing that was hard. Zero regrets about the time I took off but it's not like I just forgot about money and work during that time. It was always in the back of my mind and I never really considered just stepping out of the workforce entirely.[/quote]

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