Reply to Non-monogamy: dealbreaker? or am I being close-minded?

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Reply to "Non-monogamy: dealbreaker? or am I being close-minded?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, he had no idea how he would feel about this "non monogamous" relationship with you  --- until he is faced with you regularly sleeping with other men.

Only, then, does he really know how he feels about it.[/quote]

That's exactly right. "Ethical non-monogamy" is a two way street. When there's an emotional connection, as there is here, no one is going to be happy with their partner sleeping around. And of course women have so many more options. It's always the man that proposes some poly whatever thing so he can explore. And they always get crushed when they learn that the woman they really like can have a date night with a random any day of the week if she so chooses. It absolutely never works out. The man realizes he's an idiot. The woman feels rejected and like she's not good enough. And the damage is done.

In this particular case, the man is presently undateable. It's not unreasonable to want to be with different people after a very long monogamous relationship. But people like that should obviously be avoided if you're not on the same page. He should have been very upfront that he's not ready for a real relationship.

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