Reply to I am having a hard time understanding the hate!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So when people continually ask where the kid is headed to school, I should say “sorry, we aren’t releasing that information.”  Seriously, wtf? I don’t volunteer the info unless asked.  But apparently it’s bragging if the answer is an Ivy/T10.[/quote]
^ and after asking and getting the info is when the behind the back gossip starts up. [/quote]

You're giving your kid too much credit. Nobody gives AF where your kid goes to school. I actually tend to see it's the opposite, [b]people laugh at morons willing to pay exorbitant fees[/b] for an Ivy/T10.[/quote]

I actually agree with this.  We've had so many people comment to us how expensive our DC's college is when they ask and we answer. It's sort of weird and could even be awkward but I just move on and let it go.  DC was in lucky position to be able to choose where they went to school and have resources still left over for grad school. They didn't take it lightly - applied to a variety of colleges, including instate flagship and other less expensive schools. They chose the one with strongest program in their field and I think it was a good choice.  Again - they were lucky to have that option and we know that. Thanks grandparents![/quote]

Some people are just not knowledgeable about the process and cost factors. DD goes to a mid-range LAC that gives everyone merit aid. We heard some comments about the expense of private schools and how they focused on public colleges. Her school costs us the same as VT where our other kid goes. If they have younger kids, I'm happy to get into a conversation about how merit aid works so they'll be better informed the next time around but otherwise I'll likely just say we don't pay the sticker price and move on.[/quote]

Sure - that's true too - but in general, it's just weird to flatly comment about the cost of someone's college. Something about college makes people lost appropriate social conversation filters in real life.

It's like commenting on how much your house must have cost, or your car, or your outfit, or vacation .....whatever. It's a pretty personal choice about how people spend money and you never know what the full story of anyone's life is and what sorts of tradeoffs they've made (yes, some people have lots of money and aren't required to make many tradeoffs).

I remember people in my neighborhood getting hairs up when other neighbors sent kids to private school instead of our strong public....yet those same people who were shaming the private school families were taking lavish vacations 2x a year, leasing expensive cars, supporting their kids in costly sports (leasing horses, travel hockey, etc.) while the private school family had chosen to spend money on the private school and live more simply on these other dimensions.  In the long run, I think some of these "shamers" saw the light - but others never did and still have chips on their shoulders.

What a waste of energy. So - best to ignore, smile, and move on to another subject - no explanations or "enlightenment of others" necessary.[/quote]

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