Reply to Has anyone here on a normal income successfully FIREd?

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[quote=Anonymous]I was basically the woman you are looking for. At 29 I met my then 34 year old husband.

At 29, I was very frugal, even though I hadn’t heard of FIRE I was sort of living that lifestyle by default. I had paid off my pretty significant student loans, had no debt, had several hundred thousand in retirement accounts, had bought a townhouse that I was paying extra on the mortgage.

My husband when I met him had no debt, and several hundred thousand in retirement savings.

Almost 20 years later, we could retire today if $60k  year was all we wanted to live on for the rest of our lives, but it isn’t.  But the following things have kept us from being FIRE. 
1) Three wonderful kids that cost much more than you expect. Three kids that we want to sent to college. College isn’t the only issue either, kids are just expensive. Even the basics like housing, food and clothing are more expensive for my growth spurt having, adult size wearing 13 year old son than for me. But we want them to have at least some of the extras in life where the costs add up very quickly.  Even inexpensive activities add up quickly for a family of five. 
2) childcare when they are young is hugely expensive and we hadn’t reached fire yet but didn’t want to delay children and possibly not be able to have them due to fertility. 
3) my husband had an accident that kept him out of work for over a year and required significant medical costs. 
4) two other significant medical issues across the family that have required long term medical costs and some treatment not covered by insurance. 
5) space. The townhouse that I was paying extra on pre husband and kids might have been technically big enough for a family of five, but we were busting at the seams of that place.  We bought a bigger house and this time I worried about school districts, sidewalks, nearby playgrounds, a neighborhood pool, etc so it was a much more expensive house. 
6)I lost my job during Covid and it took me almost a year to find the next job. 
7) one of my in laws required significant end of life care not all of which was covered by insurance that we made the decision to pay for.

I’m so glad I met and married my husband and had our kids. I love our life. My early frugality has meant that we have the resources to chose flexible jobs that allow us to be present for our kids, weather medical issues without worrying about money, help family, afford college for our kids, and retire in our 50s. It’s not FIRE but it’s a fabulous fulfilling life on our terms.

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