Reply to selling family home, kids are guilting us

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just throwing out an anecdote for you OP —

My parents moved out of state my freshman year of college (8 hours from where I grew up). I split college breaks between going to see my parents and going back to visit/stay with HS friends. To this day, my family will fly to the new state to see my parents once every year or 2 (in part because cost of flights and work/school schedules), but also because it’s not “home” and it’s not somewhere I want to use my limited PTO and travel money to visit.

My DH and I stay put for the holidays (his family is drivable within an hour so we spend part of the day with them). I have not paid $$$ holiday airfare to go see my parents in close to a decade. We tend to visit at less expensive times of year.

I respect my parents’ wishes to move out of state to a place where I still don’t really know the roads and just generally don’t have any familiarity/nostalgia for. It’s quasi rural and there isn’t much to do. We have to rent a car and drive an hour from the closest mid-size airport. Honestly, this does affect how often we go see them.

Meanwhile my DH and I are raising our kids in a 2,400 sq ft house with low interest rate mortgage that will be paid off once our youngest (of 3) gets through college. We can age in place for a while here until our kids are all fully launched with their own families. After experiencing my parents move while I was in college, I feel very strongly about maintaining a safe, familiar a landing place for my kids during breaks and early adulthood.

When we downsize we may keep a place in this area and also take into consideration where our kids settle down. We will make sure we are close enough to a major airport to be easy to visit.

You are completely free to downsize and live your life an hour away. But that doesn’t mean you are free from the effects of your children potentially not coming to see you as often and having sad feelings about losing their childhood home during this transition in their lives.[/quote]

The moral of the story is where you are from and where you move matter a ton.

I grew up in a semi depressed area and hated visiting my parents as an adult.  Zero attachment to the family home.

Friends have parents that moved to vacation spots and they visit all the time.  One in Palm Beach another to Colorado ski area.

My own kids like the DC area but are excited by the areas we told them we are looking to move because we have tired of the area.[/quote]

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