Reply to Does anyone live in a community that is “too much” socially?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand why wouldn't parents want their kids/teens to have neighborhood friends?  Why would they want anti social neighbors? A social neighborhood that does things is so much fun.[/quote]

I didn't read any posts complaining about neighborhood kid friends. It's the adult socializing that is tricky as it's easier to avoid those you would clash with personality wise in other areas (work, school...). [b]In a neighborhood, you can't get away and it's the most gossip prone, bitter or disfunctionally high energy/alcoholic/unable to be alone extroverts that ground themselves at the center of the neighborhood social scenes. The awkward guy who makes uncomfortably forward comments suddenly finds himself with a built in group of friends and claws into it fiercly because he can't get this social group any other way. As someone mentioned above, the offensive dad accusing others of being abusive or alcoholics.[/b]

I've read threads here about wanting to exclude a neighbor "friend" they don't like from a gathering because they don't get along and I've read threads about someone hurt they drove by a gathering they were excluded from. It's always in your face, Halloween always comes with drama for the uninvited and social media. Parents get hypercompetitive about college acceptances more than they would be with a random classmate simply because of proximity.

There are threads were a woman wants to see her friendly neighbor but no longer wants their kids together because one kid is verbally abusive or a bad influence and again the proximity makes that difficult. Parents who no longer get along put an uncomfortable strain on kids who still want to hang out.

I don't think social neighborhoods are all doomed, but decent neighbors are like gold. It's not "antisocial" to prefer standoffish neighbors if you don't want to center your social life around your neighbors.[/quote]

Yes, exactly this in my neighborhood. I used to be able to invite a couple of families over for a bbq and swimming. However, several years ago it turned into "Oh - you're inviting the Larlos too, right?" Nevermind, that I barely knew this family, who had just moved in several months prior - but my limited interactions with them showed that both parents drank heavily and largely ignored their kids at social functions. However, because the parents were both these oddly high energy, fakely enthusiastic extroverts who had already met so many people, I had to include them or I would be labeled as exclusionary and mean. It got so exhausting and caused me to really stop hosting a lot of laid back cookouts.  
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