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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. I recognize that I probably am a martyr.

Trip location was in Africa last week smack in the middle of school. We are in DC.  No parents to look after kids if I skip town/continent. I think I should have been clear with my husband that it was not okay for him to join the couples trip and ditch me. Who does that? I do feel alienated by the trip organizer and especially his wife. It was not like they paid for anything. And it is well known in the social circle that [b]I am the one that has a full time job but still does the lions share of the child rearing since husband is always traveling. Right now he iin London for pleasure and work. He will be out for three weeks.[/b] [/quote]

This is the crux of your issue. Your ire at the trip organizer is misplaced--they may have chosen the dates based on cheap airfare and wanted to avoid school holidays.

But the real issue is that your H does not pull his weight and is thoughtless to boot. You need to be clear with yourself what you can put up with, and you also seem mad at yourself for not speaking up earlier. He will take advantage of you being the mature one every time, so better set boundaries going forward. The question is, why didn't you speak up and tell him it's not okay? 
[/quote]

OP. Agree I should set boundaries. And thank you to all those that are adding in their $0.02z

But my friends especially the girl-friends are aware that he takes advantage of being the responsible parent so I do feel a bit double crossed. [/quote]

So what did you expect them to do? Invite you but not him? It was a couples trip. They invited couples. Your bad marriage isn't their problem. [/quote]

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