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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you have a range of ideas for how to proceed here, from "tell her not to come" to "throw some salmon on the grill."  I will note that nobody has said that you should cook every meal bespoke for your sister or arrange the entire menu for her.

I suggest you take a step back and think about what your goal is for the event, and choose the path that is most likely to get you there.

Is it more important to you that the whole family be there and feel comfortable, or is it more important to you to that you limit the food to only what you planned?
Is it more important to you to take this opportunity to make a statement about the longstanding dynamics between your sister and your parents, or is it more important to you that there be as little tension as possible?

Truly, think big picture.  Honestly, if you have other issues with your parents and sister and would rather them not come at all, then be firm and take the suggestion to suggest your sister not come or tell her that she isn't allowed to bring or prepare her own food.  If you are looking for low-drama family togetherness, CALL YOUR SISTER and work out a plan.

This isn't a question of whether you would be right/justified in not accommodating.  This is a question of getting the outcome you want, for you.[/quote]

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