Reply to Are these comments typical for the age, or is my DD a jerk?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's normal, but it's not kind and that's what you need to teach her.  It's normal for society to use others to get ahead but it's not right. [/quote]
It's not normal to me. How does a 7 year old learn to be that nasty? [/quote]

Op here. I guess I don’t think of those types of comments my DD made as extreme…? Unkind and rude, but not nasty.

Kids have told my kid they would kill her, that they won’t be her friend, she can’t play with them because she’s not a friend, or that her xyz is stupid and dumb. Not often, but I do hear comments like this. I don’t think any of those comments are ok. [/quote]

They're nasty. These kids make my kids upset and they come home and cry often. I've often wondered what parents would think if they heard how negative they are at school and how they kill the vibe for everyone but it's what I expected. "It's not that bad!" Yes, it is. These kids bring everyone down. Tell her to knock it off.[/quote]

My kid has come home crying and saying kids were mean or made mean comments (“Your hair looks dumb.”). I told her that wasn’t kind but that’s life and she needs to suck it up. By 1st or 2nd grade I expect kids won’t cry at these one off comments unless there’s a pattern or bullying going on. [/quote]

Why are we expecting kids to suck it up? If my coworker kept telling me how lame I was, how ugly my hair is, or how bad I am at sports, I would be discussing this with HR. [/quote]

Exactly. Imagine how beat down you would feel if you had to 'suck it up' all day long in the face of this onslaught. It wears on a person, especially young children. It's not ok or appropriate. How would OPs kid like to hear it all the time? Would OP be ok with other kids talk to her daughter that way? Oh well! They're just competitive! I doubt it.[/quote]

This is OP. Kids DO say those things to DD. And not just “Your drawing isn’t that cool,” which is what DD said. But straight up saying her lunch looks gross, or that her xyz is dumb, and pushing/hitting. I have never reached out to the teacher. DD has reported the hitting/pushing which I think is good for her to do but I don’t feel the need to step in. The hitting from one kid in particular hasn’t changed and I’ve just told her to avoid him (he hits more kids than just DD). I have never talked to the teacher about any of it because I assume she knows what she is doing. [/quote]

I would absolutely reach out to a teacher on the hitting if it has continued.[/quote]

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