Reply to Are there really men whose dream it is to have their wife not need to work?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My exH really got off on being “a provider” and [b]it was a status thing[/b] for him to have a SAH wife.  It made sense for me at the time, but I was foolishly lulled into a false sense of complacency and when he divorced me, I was effffffffed.  Some of these guys really like that power and control – even if it doesn’t manifest that way early on.

I was a fool.   [/quote]

I was going to say something to this effect. A man who openly broadcasts* he wants to have a wife who can choose whether to work or SAH is someone who is into showing his status as a high earner.

Which means he is probably into status in other areas. I would be prepared to “bounce back” after kids and maintain a trophy wife image because I don’t think a man like that is going to be okay with a wife hanging onto 20 extra pounds post-kids. And be on the lookout for him to have his eye on younger women who come along.

*This is not the same thing as a man who has a private discussion with his partner about financial/lifestyle priorities and decides on a spouse SAH. [/quote]

Eh, I don't think a man who says this is automatically going to be the kind who is super obsessed with you gaining weight when you have kids or looking to cheat.

I think some men who say this come from families where either this is what you are supposed to do (provide enough money to support your family, whether your wife works or not) or they didn't come from a family like that and it caused strife (maybe his mom had to work super hard and his dad refused to or left them). There are reasons aam want want to do this that have nothing to do with status.[/quote]

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