Reply to Do I just let my kid quit and fail?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son struggled a lot in 6th grade and some in 7th grade.  Ours looked more like just a lot of outbursts and emotional highs and lows and some sneaking around and lying and bad choices.  Think of the social effort it takes them to be in middle school all day.  That age is brutal.   What you are describing sounds fairly extreme though.  School refusal and not wanting to go on family vacations is extreme.

I don't see anywhere if you've just...talked to him.  Not from a place of accusation or consequences or why won't you or why are you but genuinely hey are you ok.  These are some patterns I'm seeing in your emotions and behavior.  We love you and support you, how can we help.   You really need to stress to him that your number one priority is not whether he continues golf or tennis but his well being.  Your family and home should be his safe space because it sounds like school is pretty stressful for him on some level.    Offer him a therapist.  I got my son a therapist in 6th grade and it really helped him.[/quote]

The not wanting to go to school was the first time today. I’m hoping it is not a pattern. I think he is really testing us to see how much he can get away with like refusing to go on the family vacation.

He cursed at me the other day and DH let him have it. DH never yells and he has yelled at him several times over the past few weeks including after a tennis match that he won. I don’t think Dh has ever yelled at any of our kids over sports.[/quote]

OP, you're not really responding to things people are saying to you, which I find kind of odd.

Your kid is hurting and you don't seem terribly interested in figuring out what's going on.  You just want to make him stop.  Yelling at him and seeing how far he pushes your boundaries and waiting to see what happens next is probably not going to give you the results you're hoping for.[/quote]

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