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[quote=Anonymous]I just want to say that reading this today was really helpful to me because I constantly feel guilty about similar feelings and have a hard time admitting it to myself.  I know the postings veered off in a different direction, but I can really sympathize with what the OP said, and I think a lot of people can.  There's nothing wrong with feeling that way, and it's helpful to get it out.  Probably she would never express something like this to her children -- or maybe even to her partner -- but on an anonymous board, she felt comfortable doing this.

I agree with the suggestions to get therapy, but I also think you have to just accept these feelings and stop beating yourself up for them.  I go back and forth between feeling this way and then feeling terrible for feeling this way, which only makes you feel more trapped.  I think if you just admit that you have these feelings sometimes, that they aren't constant, and that they don't mean you're a bad person, then you can start moving on toward finding a resolution and feeling better.  The suggestions for getting a break (respite care, babysitter/nanny, etc.) are great, and so is finding something in your life that you really care about outside of your children and home -- and that you feel you can be good at and make progress on.  It's so hard with a SN child to feel that you are really being successful as a parent on a regular basis (at least in cases where the child may not show much affection or recognition of your efforts -- not that many NT child show much recognition of efforst either :) ).  Good luck to all of you, and great job as parents!  We are often very tough on ourselves, but we're doing a good job.[/quote]

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