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Reply to "managing negative emotions about grieving relatives"
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[quote=Anonymous]We were a military family who did these visits from abroad for several years. One thing that we realized too late was that my husband and I had this dynamic where we would spend d a week with his family or my family and then Spend the next six weeks dissecting every word, every glance (I.e. What do you think your sister meant when she said . . . ?) We realized later that the whole dissecting thing was unhelpful. Your siblings and extended family aren’t doing that. They see you, have lunch and then go to soccer, to work. They are not hyper fixating on your conversations and have likely forgotten about them and you once you left. You are the only one who is still fixated on the racist remark, picturing hypothetical conversations and planning responses. This is kind of a you thing. We kind of have an agreement now that we go and have the visit but do t obsess about it before or after. [/quote]
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