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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There was a whole article about this in the Atlantic (https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/09/yale-college-undergrad-clubs-competitive/675219/)....what was upsetting was the exclusiveness of clubs that had no reason to be exclusive.

I have found this to be true at my DC's school and her friends at other schools say similar things. In an age where kids have a hard enough time connecting with one another, I found it quite disheartening.[/quote]

My DD graduated from Yale the year before this article was published and she cried when she read it. She tried to join many activities- some which she had excelled at in HS, and others which represented new interests. She was shut out of everything after multiple years' of attempts. The gatekeeping was insane. At one point she attempted intramural sports, which is totally casual competition representing each dorm, not even close to the level of club sports. She was rejected by the captains of multiple teams because "they had enough experienced players and women already." She played for a strong varsity softball program in HS and was recruited for D3, but she only managed to get a chance to join intramural softball games 2-3 times and only for headcount because another woman was sick.

She ended up working out at the gym a lot, writing for a minor publication at school and focusing most of her time on school, friends, and her on-campus job. In her experience, there were a few kids picking up multiple activities and everyone else was scrambling for scraps. It was disheartening.

The one thing about the article that she criticized was that the woman in the story (I haven't re-read it) who shared her perspective was talking about how hard it was to join an activity when she was actually accepted into one of the most selective ones (the Carillonneurs). That gave my DD a good laugh because if someone is complaining about selection to a very elite group, they have no idea how hard it is for the more average student.[/quote]

This is so sad. I wish more people told these stories. Where is she now?[/quote]

She's working in NYC (not a dream job but she is squeaking by on her own without help from us) and is a volunteer coach for a youth sports team. She didn't have the recruiting opportunities she had hoped for but it sounds like she is saving up to hopefully start post-bac courses this summer and thinking about applying to MBA programs in a couple of years.

It's been hard because she's had friends from college who were varsity athletes or in those competitive clubs who had really great job opportunities through those groups. She is dating a former athlete who graduated the same year who was basically given his job by an older teammate and alumni. He is a great guy and I don't think she begrudges him that opportunity, but I know she envies the ease with which he's accessed a lot of things.[/quote]

I feel sorry for your DD. She probably would've been happier and better set up for success at a less competitive, more nurturing school like a laid-back state school or a SLAC .[/quote]

I wouldn't pity her, but yes, she does regret not taking the offer from Williams. At the time, it was hard to say no to the prestige offered by Yale and the opportunities she perceived she would have.  In reality, the opportunities are most open to those who would probably have similar opportunities anywhere. She also came from a very large high school (3000 students) and had trouble imagining herself in a smaller environment.

I think the lesson that she's taken away from the experience and that we took away as a family is that most kids will do fine literally anywhere, but it takes courage to choose "anywhere" over a very competitive, highly ranked school. I'm sure she will take that lesson into her graduate school planning. And we definitely were naive about the background of her fellow students. It was humbling to realize how many of her fellow students were truly brilliant or incredibly privileged. But you don't know what you don't know.
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Williams is majority athlete. There is nothing to say that the opportunities available to Yale grads because of athletics wouldn't apply to Williams grads now. If anything, those connections seem to be stronger at SLACs [/quote]

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