Reply to Spouse wants me to cut contact with my mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I read all your posts. If you love your mom, you need to help your dad get her treatment. She needs to be on bipolar meds.

I don’t believe you should cut her off, but you absolutely need to hold her at arms length. She cannot watch your child.

I love my Dh and would side with him over my family. My Dh is wonderful and always has my best interests at heart. You need to decide if the same is true of yours. Marriage is deeper than blood relations. Your Dh actually seems reasonable and your mom is extremely unreasonable. I bet if you stood your ground, your dad would make changes. I can’t believe he didn’t after your brother went no contact. [b]I’d lose my mind if my child wouldn’t contact me because of something my husband did.[/b] [/quote]

My MIL sided with my FIL after we cut off contact with him (long story short, he's been verbally abusive my husband's whole life and when he turned on me and my children my husband had had enough). We told MIL that she was still welcome to see us, that we would help her move out and would pay for her to live separately if she needed to, etc. She sided with the abuser. It happens a lot. My best friend's in-laws did the same, and her husband only had a relationship with his dad again after his mom died. The spouses are victims of abuse and often act accordingly (i.e. not cutting off the abuser) because they're so messed up. I'm not defending it, and I feel the same way you do, but I've seen it happen more than once. [/quote]

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