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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]3 kids are just not getting the parental attention that 2 are. It’s mathematically impossible. And 2 kids are getting less than an only child. It’s just a decision you have to balance. My sister is just baby/toddler crazy. But once the kid can walk/talk/pee on their own, they must fend for themselves and she is on to the next baby. [/quote]

Disagree.  In my experience too much parent attention is not great for kids.  Lots of special snowflakes out there who really struggle with the real world.[b]  Kids with 2+ siblings seem to be better adjusted in general[/b].  The helicopter parenting many people take on today is not good for kids.  They are more anxious, insecure, self centered, and rigid.[/quote]

I agree with you.[/quote]

I think each child/sibling group/family is different and you can’t just make blanket statements like this. Some kids in larger families feel emotionally neglected (I am one of these. My siblings were more difficult kids and demanded more of my parents’ attention than I did and the assumption was that I would be fine and didn’t need parental attention as much) and would benefit from more one-one time/attention from parents. Some kids need more space and independence from parents to thrive. Some parents are helicopter-y (no matter how many kids they have) and this can be bad. Some parents are too hands-off (no matter how many kids they have) and this can be bad too.[/quote]

+1, I'm a "good kid" from a big family and the main thing it taught me is not to be better adjusted but to never expect anything. As I've gotten older, that's actually been a negative and required a lot of effort to correct -- I was in the habit of doing stuff like ignoring persistent physical pain for long periods of time because I didn't want to inconvenience anyone or I didn't think it was a big deal (a habit that landed me in the ER with a big deal because I had convinced myself I was "being a baby" and "making a big deal out of nothing").

I know kids from big families who are great and well adjusted, but I also know the opposite. I also know only children and those with just one sibling who are among the most well adjusted, level-headed people I've ever met.

I think the critical factor is quality of parenting, and that some people do better with fewer kids and some do better with more kids. Choose the number of kids for whom you will be the best parent. If that's 3 or 4, go for it! Some people really do thrive in that setting and do best with larger groups. But for many families, the answer will be 1 or 2, and those kids will be much better off in that smaller family than they would be with more siblings if it means they get the best version of their parents.[/quote]

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