Reply to I filed for divorce today and feel awful

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[quote=Anonymous]So you tried therapy "both individual and marriage" but determined you want different things in life. You said, "she wanted a 1950's husband." You also offer this advice that I sense you feel is wisdom: "never miss the opportunity to use your ears to hear what a spouse is telling you in terms of their needs/wants." So your wife told you in therapy that she "wanted a 1950's husband?" Did she really? What does that mean exactly? My thought is that you didn't take your own advice and listen and understand what she needs or wants but instead chose to define, compartmentalize, and trivialize what your wife expressed by summing it up with a stupid, mean-nothing catchphrase.  So your wife isn't crazy about politics or art and that's a deal breaker? I can't help to wonder if maybe she could be more interested in those things than you think but because she's left doing the lion's share of parenting (while you travel extensively for work) she doesn't have the luxury of pursuing her interests or yours. And I'd think that your statement about the looks on your kids faces when they found out you were leaving ("something I will remember to my dying days") would be enough to make you work harder.  I'm just left with an overwhelming ick factor about you...you're weak.

Oh, and this beauty: "One thing I definitely do not want to do is even think about dating for a very long time if ever." Who are you trying to convince? Yourself? Cause I'm guessing you'll be back out there trying pretty dang fast. And you mention maybe wanting to devote time to charity and mentoring...don't you have two children headed into their teen years? Come on, that's all the charity and mentoring opportunities one working man, who travels, can handle. But perhaps that's not sexy enough or doesn't fulfill your need to feel important? Give it a break, OP. I'm disgusted. [/quote]

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