Reply to Would you go on a trip with a friend who doesn’t ever want to meet locally?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She is always quick to return a text and calls me. She just won’t see me in person.

For the past decade, I often would visit her, maybe once or twice per year. I would get a hotel for a night or two, loved the little break from my kids and had a great time. Depending on where she lived, if she was single, she would either stay with me at my hotel or I would stay with her at her place. I have stayed over her apartment and her family home many times so it isn’t about shame of her home or anything like that. She seems to not want to see me in person. I just tried again to see her next weekend and she declined.[/quote]

You’re being super pushy. She has invited you on the work trip. Go to that. Why do you need so badly to see her on your terms? [/quote]

It is her birthday next week. She told me she had no plans. She is not working over the weekend. Maybe trying to see my friend on or close to her birthday makes me a bad pushy friend. We were happy and excited for our trip. She said she missed me and couldn’t wait see me. I happened to be available so I said let’s do something like we have done in decades past. Then she became withdrawn and uncomfortable because I wanted to see her. I would 100% be ok if she had plans with others. I genuinely didn’t want her to be alone.

This is a friend who would bring me a cupcake or cake on my birthday every year. She has brought me cake while I was in the hospital. We have celebrated many birthdays together domestically and internationally. Her work trip was close to my birthday and in a very desirable location and we got excited to celebrate the way we used to. Depending on how far we lived, we would celebrate hers and mine, sometimes together or separately or both. It has been a decades long tradition. [/quote]

Hate to say it, but you blew it. She has some reason for preferring to see you in the neutral vacation spot. You 2 were excited.

Then you pushed her to meet where she has repeatedly expressed discomfort, rather than accepting her & her limitations & looking forward to the little trip.

You’re defending yourself over because you’re still looking at this from your POV, when multiple people on the board are telling you - she’s struggling. She once came to meet you in the hospital, so do the same for her - meet her where she is able.[/quote]

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