Reply to When successful men with demanding jobs (doctor, lawyer) divorce, what usually causes it?

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Reply to "When successful men with demanding jobs (doctor, lawyer) divorce, what usually causes it?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]IDK why people marry career first people, men or women, and are surprised that they wind up living with someone who puts their career first.  ??[/quote]

A lot of people start dating and get married before the big career takes off.  [/quote]

This. Also a frustrating surprise many spouses encounter in these professions is that work load and stress often peak at work at the same time they peak at home with kids. So the spouse winds up at home with 2 kids under school age while the doctor is finishing up residency or in a grueling fellowship. Or the spouse winds up feeling abandoned with young kids when the lawyer is being groomed for or making partner (which often requires a lot more travel and long hours as they take on more direct client handling or may be hustling to build their own book).

Back in the day they'd advise you to time kids to avoid this, but that's harder to do now because medical specialties and partnership both tend to take longer than they used to, plus people get married later. Also men the day are more likely to marry women close in age to them, as opposed to 5-8 years younger.

Though kids also make divorce less likely by making it both more expensive and less socially acceptable. IME doctors and lawyers tend to be more aware of and concerned about how their family/private life appears to the outside. So a lot of pressure to make it work even when it's hard.[/quote]

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