Reply to 4 y.o. niece is wonderful birth control. Tell sibling their kid is out of control?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t think hitting a 4 year old is the answer

Someone should have taken the kid outside. I also have a sister with an out of control 4 year old. She will also allow him to hit people, here in their faces, scream at his parents, tell my uncle to f*** off. She constantly makes excuses - “he learnt it at child care”, “he is trying to get your attention”. It is really frustrating as she won’t accept that the behaviour is not acceptable. I also wonder if he is SN but because she excuses everything he does, it is a really hard one to broach with her. [/quote]

It’s hard to watch. I have a friend like this and I try to talk to her about the ways we worked with therapists to effectively address the behaviors. She even has a good therapist herself. But she will not/cannot bring herself to impose discipline at all. She truly believes the hitting & swearing is “because he feels bad and is overwhelmed” and the answer is for him to feel “safe” and “express his feelings.” Let me tell you, it is not pretty to be around, but she bears the brunt of the behavior. I’ve just decided that it’s something I have to accept if we are going to be friends. And who knows, maybe he will grow out of it, and maybe her approach will be emotionally healthy for him to feel she loves him unconditionally. You can never tell. What IS true is that she cannot force other people to withhold judgment or accept his behavior, and that ultimately has consequences. Some parents are already not letting their kids come over, babysitters quitting, etc. [/quote]

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