Reply to 50/50 custody in practice

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am kind of getting sick and tired of all these women complaining about taking the kids to birthdays, to sports etc..... My ex-wife is busier with yearly plastic surgery and rotating boyfriends than taking care of our kids. She gladly handed over full custody to me and I love it. She still sees our kids; she does her best to get involved and I think it's just fine. The kids love both of us. They are dads who step up and they don't complain as much as some of the women here do.[/quote]

I’ve actually never seen a mom do this.  
Of my kids’ friends with divorced parents, it is ALWAYS the dad who won’t take the kids to birthday parties, sports, etc.  
[/quote]

Dad doesn’t want to go to practices or games or parties. He just sits in the car in his phone if he has to, just like when we were married.

He wants to be adored by his kids, hence he does the Disney Dad thing and takes them shopping or skips practices to go to a roller coaster or eat junk food out. He thinks he’s buying love and attention by not being attentive. [/quote]

What’s the end result in these families? Do the kids get it, ever? [/quote]

I mean, the unfortunate end result is that kids seek the approval of the inattentive parent and feel comfortable moving away from a stable parent they know will be there for them.  If you are a good parent, your kids will eventually become independent.  They call it trauma bonding and did some kind of experiment with ducks in the 60’s.

[i]“Ducks, like people, develop bonds between mother and young. They call it imprinting. So the scientists set out to test how that imprint bond would be affected by abuse.

The control group was a real mother duck and her ducklings. For the experimental group, the scientist used a mechanical duck they had created - feathers, sound, and all - which would, at timed intervals, peck the ducklings with its mechanical beak. A painful peck, one a real duck would not give.

They varied these groups. Each group was pecked with a different level of frequency. And then they watched the ducklings grow and imprint bond with their mother.

Over time, he went on, the ducklings in the control group would waddle along behind their mother. But as they grew, there would be more distance between them. They'd wander and explore.

The ducklings with the pecking mechanical mother, though, followed much more closely. Even the scientists were stunned to discover that the group that bonded and followed most closely was the one that had been pecked repeatedly with the greatest frequency. The more the ducklings were pecked and abused, the more closely they followed. The scientist repeated the experiment and got the same results.”
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