Reply to S/O is anyone not bothered by the “mental load”?

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Reply to "S/O is anyone not bothered by the “mental load”?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
You, PPs, seem to have husband's who either pitch in or at least appreciate you doing it all.

I do all the parenting and the housework myself. My husband does NOTHING. I don't mind. What I do mind, however, is his complete lack of understanding and appreciation of what it takes to raise a child.

For example, back when our daughter was in daycare, he didn’t understand the effort to get her ready in the mornings. He kept saying: "Just stop celebrating and take her to the daycare!"

I work part-time (lawyer) because he leaves at 5 a.m. and comes home in the evening, too tired to do anything.

To top it all, he is pressuring me to start earning significantly more, an amount approaching his salary. I currently earn 200k, he averages almost 1m. When I point out the child-related duties, his reply:"It's your fault, hire a nanny!"

You can imagine my resentment. I just hope that my daughter will not end up thinking that this setup is normal. [/quote]

With all due respect, your household income is more than enough to outsource all domestic duties and then some.  [/quote]

Are you saying this as someone with a similar income who outsources all domestic duties?  
Or maybe you are someone who does domestic work for a family with a similar income.

Or, most likely, you are someone who has never hired out all or most of your domestic work and has no experience with it, but imagines that there is a large market of highly competent domestic workers looking for employment, and they are very easy to find, hire, and manage.  
  [/quote]

DP who has kids with SN with a HHI @$175K gross.  With my kids, we aspire for average. If we could afford 'domestic workers', I wouldn't aspire for "highly competent". "Acceptable" would make a huge difference for us.[/quote]

I have four kids and a HHI of $250k.  For me, it matters even more on a lower income.  
If I’m going to pay someone $200 to do some laundry and cooking, then I expect there to be a few meals prepared for my family, the kitchen cleaned, and most of the laundry done.  If someone isn’t making food that’s better than takeout or my kids can’t find clean clothes in the morning, then it’s not worth it.  
 
[/quote]

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