Reply to Gen Z changing the dating game, will have better marriages….

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Gen Z changing the dating game, will have better marriages…. "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm older Gen X, married 30 years. I think the Millennials are a huge mess as far as marriage and can't make it work. I think Gen Z will be okay.[/quote]

I agree[/quote]

Hmm I'm a millennial (sort of median millennial, '88) and we have plenty of our own issues in our marriages, but much of it comes from selfishness, unwilling to compromise, and excessive therapy speak (everything is a trauma that can be dealt with by erecting boundaries).  Many of my issues with my husband early in our marriage came from a lot of manchild behavior he had out of fear (fear of not choosing a fulfilling career, but not enough confidence to take the risks that would get him there, fear of being a father because it constrains his choices to the point where it probably would have run out my biological clock if I didn't put my foot down, etc.).

My experience working with the younger generation is that they have even more of all this than we did.  A lot of them (generalizing here) are totally paralyzed by the idea of failure, have been extremely sheltered, missed a big chunk of life experience due to the timing of COVID in terms of mediating interactions with their peers/coworkers/whatever, are extremely lonely, never learned how to interact outside of structured contexts, are not used to anything that requires self-direction, and think that if you put up a "boundary" that you can avoid dealing with conflict or things that are hard.  They are having less sex, spend less time with friends in person, drink/do other risky behavior less (but don't replace it with other healthier social activities, just with video games and phones), and are more fearful of career paths that involve any lack of guarantee that it's all going to unfold according to plan.

I agree that someone else mentioned the younger generation doesn't have as much exposure to older generations who experienced really hard things and a lack of respect for what older generations dealt with.  Millennials have less exposure than Gen-X, but I still had grandparents I grew up with who were born in the 20s-30s and a great grandmother who lived to he '90s who was born at the turn of the century.  One grandfather fought in the Pacific Theatre in WW2, another grew up in a war ravished country as a child during WW2, another grandfather fought in Korea and Vietnam.  I have friends whose grandparents were holocaust survivors.  All of this seems very distant for people in their 20s now.  Millennials have a hard enough time without getting into the woe is me about the very real consequence of graduating into the 2008 recession and having a hard time getting a foothold into the workforce and affording housing (we did have a hard time, but even so, most of us are in our 30s with jobs and homes and families now).  With the exception of the throes of the pandemic (like 2020-2021), Gen-Z is graduating into a booming job market, but for some reason still think it's awful. There are certainly some things that are tougher now.  Competition for elite spaces in universities and specific jobs is steeper as the world gets more globalized.  The cost of living is an issue globally, but the cost of rent does make it tough for people in their 20s to get launched.  But every generation has its problems.

People in their 20s being self-absorbed and lacking perspective is nothing new.  People said it of Boomers, Gen-X, and Millennials.  But, I see nothing that suggests to me that Gen-Z is breaking these trends, and a lot of reasons to think they have all the problems my generation has, but even fewer of the tools to mediate conflict. Some will grow up and be all right.  But overall, being inflexible, anxious, and unwilling to compromise, and having sky high expectations but at the same time a total fear of failure does not sound like a recipe for awesome marriages to me.  Sounds like more of the same, but slightly worse.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics