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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Damn I woke the beasts.  I was hoping for helpful sane DCUM.

First of all, we didn’t come from money so this isn’t Muffy buys a library to get little Princess in. We had to work so hard. And now we have a better life so maybe our kids aren’t feeling that push that we had.

And of course don’t take my school literally. Just representative of what our collective goals were for so long: very strong schools.

Secondly, I am SURE you all want your kids to to top schools. You all talk about it all the time here. So, so do we. But I am trying navigate that plan with my daughter in front of me right now and hear her while also acknowledging that we are dealing with an adolescent and all that comes with. And I want to do the right thing.

It’s a reasonable question. And only sane DCUM need respond. [/quote]

Everyone here pretends they don’t care where their kids go to college and then they will claim their kid just stumbled upon coding or squash and was self motivated to spend most waking moment’s pursuing their rare extracurriculars in order to win national competitions.  And they like taking  SAT practice tests for fun.  But no, they would never push their kid.[/quote]

Agreed. The very reason I asked this question HERE is because this is a highly concentrated distillation of the the right audience. And a taboo subjects that’s harder to crowdsource in real life. Some of these replies are so fake. The constructive ones I do appreciate though. I came hear looking for alternative perspectives. That’s exactly why I asked the question. [/quote]

It is important to recognize that the kids that are at all competitive for top universities are pretty internally motivated to do what it takes to get there. It’s not something a parent can push, prod, nag, or browbeat them into.

Your child is having trouble managing her freshman year course load, which is as easy as HS is going to get. For her health and well being, you need to back off a little and let her drive this.

Which is not to say that there aren’t conversations worth having about what she wants her future to look like. And whether her parents fort is compatible with her goals. My DD told me that she wants to go to MIT for mathematics. I said okay, let’s take a look at the kind of kids that get in. Conversation had, she can decide whether she has what it takes to put in a decent application. [/quote]

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